Posts Tagged ‘Kristin Proctor’

Why the Internet is Awesome and You Suck

March 18, 2008

Yeah, the internet is awesome, and yeah you do suck. Really though the title should be “Why the internet is awesome and sucks at the same time.”

Basically my blog got a hit of an internet search item the other day. The search term was “kristin proctor nude”. The next day there was another hit of the search engine, this time the search term was “kristin proctor breasts”.

I can only interpret this as someone deciding to jerk off to Kristin Proctors breasts. Failing to find sufficient fappage material and then waiting an entire day before they realised, “hey, maybe if try searching for ‘breasts’ instead of ‘nude’ I might find some more jerkoff material.

That is why the internet is awesome.

Unfortunately my sexually frustrated friend, there is a total lack of naked Kristin Proctor on the Interwebs.

That is why the internet sucks.

There is only one way that I can think of to remedy this situation. We need more naked Kristin Proctor. A lot more! But I’m willing to negotiate. So I’d like to make an open plea to Ms. Proctor. Please ma’am you have more talent in one of those fantastically fake boobies than half the chicks in hollywood. It would be a crime to waste them during your peak hot years, before waiting to display them in all their glory once you’re fat and unattractive.

Therefore I am hereby starting the “Let’s get Kristin Proctor Naked” Movement.

Stated goals of this movement are as follows:

1. Get Kristin Proctor naked
2. Videotape or photograph above nudity
3. Distribute on the Internet
4. ????
5. Profit!!!!

“Gots to. It’s America.”

March 5, 2008

The Wire is coming to an end….sheeeeeeeeeeeit. Its kinda crazy that the show has one episode left, and even though it is by far the best show that has ever been on television, no one has ever heard of it. You could ask every person you met for an entire week if they’ve ever even heard of the Wire, and I’d bet you dollars to donuts no more than 1 person would have heard of it.

The Wire is the brainchild of David Simon. It’s semi-based on his experience researching the drug trade in Baltimore during his tenure as a reporter at the Baltimore Sun. The show is unique for several reasons. The continuity on the show is beyond anything we’ve ever seen on television. Tiny little elements that are completely glanced over have huge payouts to the audience years down the line. The show’s commitment to continuity is just one element that demonstrates the commitment Simon has put into his opus.

The show has around 30 major characters each season. Every character in the show is treated evenly. Meaning that there are no clear cut villains or heroes. People do not attempt to constatnly define themselves for the audience benefit. There are no long drawn out pointless romances, ongoing mysteries are solved (Lost? Hello, Lost?) , the characters in the Wire are people. Real people.

The percentage of the cast portrayed by african americans or minorities is significantly higher than any other show on television. The show is genuine reflection of life in a major city. It’s major accomplishment is that it essentially demonstrates how similar all these people are. Politicians and drug lords operate by the same system of interconnected rules, known as “The game”.

I keep wanting to post youtube clips of this shit, but the show isn’t popular enough to have been youtubed substantially. I might have to pull my own clips for you fine folks…assuming of course anyone ever actually ends up reading these posts.

by the way have I mentioned that this chick shows her tits?

Kristin Proctor

Dreamgirl

So still no progress on coming up with a new name for her. I can’t decide what’s worse. The fact that I can’t come up with a name for her, or that I actually waste time in my day trying to come up with a name. She hasn’t been on MSN at all today, which means that she’s probably taken a day off from work so her ass munching boyfriend can spend the day pounding her from behind.

It’s funny how the more depressed I get about this the hornier I get. I think my consumption of porn has doubled in the last week and half. One fortunate side effect was that I cam across this clip of Kristen Bell (another underapreciated show…well the first 2 seasons anyways. Season 3 was a turdburger with a side of turd coleslaw.)

THE HABS

Next game isn’t until tomorrow night. I just read that the players were allowed to bring family members with them on this trip. The Habs chartered a plane, and flew everyone down. Fucking brilliant. So the longest road trip of the season, the best chance for the team to bond on the road just got ruined because all the bitches are going to be there the whole time giving the players headaches about daily shit. The habs need to be out kicking ass and taking numbers on this trip not standing around holding purses.

Ahem, http://www.canada.com/theprovince/news/story.html?id=0961f342-bdb2-466f-acfa-9bd527e71750&k=83087