Posts Tagged ‘habs’

March 28, 2008

So yesterday I arrive at the library to start studying and my cellphone goes off like 10 times in the first 10 minutes that I’m there. Studying has become mildly tolerable of late, simply because I now have several friends that all have exams approaching, and consequently now have a cohort of people to turn to in moments of boredom. One of the text messages is from fantasy girls best friend/cousin.

It reads something along the lines of “gee, you’ve seemed really down lately, and I feel bad for you”. Basically this is the most insulting text message I’ve ever gotten.

You know what fantasy girls cousin? Fuck you! You think I want your fuck pity? What the fuck do i want with that bullshit? You think I care if you feel badly for me? You think I seem down lately? Where the fuck have you been for the last few months? I’ve been depressed out of my mind this entire year, I haven’t spoken to you in 2 months and all o the sudden you decide that I might be feeling glum? Fuck you.

You know what might help with that? How about not giving me shit advice when your cousin decided to shoot me down? How about not telling me to get over her and then setting her up with some guy? How about not treating me like a fucking joke? How about you bending over and letting me tear your asshole apart with my cock? How does that sound?

If your cousin isn’t in to good looking guys with good jobs who are nice and have giant cocks, there’s not much I can do to change that. You told me to get over her. So that’s what I’m fucking doing. I’m blogging, i went to see a shrink, i’m trying to study. You think this is easy? You think I don’t recognize the stupid fucking patters re: relationships that I create for mysllf? of course I do, and I don’t need your fucking pity. I don’t need you pretending you care, so you can go back to fantasy girl and the two of you can sit there and talk about how badly you feel for me while you laugh about how fantasy girl would never fuck me.

I’m moving on to bigger and better things.

Five Minutes Ago

Five minutes ago I picked up a hot fucking blonde in the lounge at work. She is teh hawtness !1!1!eleventy!1!

It honestly wasn’t even that hard. I asked her some stupid questions, smiled, made a dumb joke, pretended to be interested in what she was saying and got her email adress. I plan to have her sucking my cock by the end of next week.

I need a new nickname for this girl….to be determined.

The habs

So last night I was watching RDS and they were interviewing Carey Price. I haven’t seen the kid do any interviews before, and he looked absolutely painful. I’m sure he’ll grow into it eventually, but for a kid who’s won at every level he’s played at so far, and has achieved what he’s achieved thus far in the NHL, and will likely win the rookie of the year award, he’s alarmlingly bereft of cockiness. He needs a little Patrick Roy in him.

Speaking of Roy…yeah the fight his son got into was ridiculous. He should clearly be suspended for the remainder of the season. But the media’s reaction and criticism of Roy has been way out of line. They’re making him out to be a pseudo-pariah, and it’s quite frankly…ridiculous.

They’ve prosecuted him on circumstancial evidence. Maybe Roy told his son to go out and wail on the other goalie, maybe he told him to go and fight, then again maybe he didn’t. I find it comepletely ridiculous that that media has been lambasting Roy so fervently without any actual proof. Nobody is going to mistake Roy for a nice guy, he was a quintessential prima donna his entire career. There’s every indication that he’s going to continue to exhibit those characteristics for the remainder of his coaching/managerial career, but cut the guy some slack.

Even if he did tell his son to go out and fight, there’s likely little chance that he told his son to continue to wail on an opponent that had thrown out the white flag and wasn’t fighting back. Patrick Roy’s son was out of line, not Patrick Roy, and it would be nice to see the media address that issue with the same fervor and hyperbole with which they’ve condemned him. Instead this is just one more example of the media acting irresponsibly and fabricating a story so they gloat and sound of their own shrill voice.

5 more minutes later

I just picked up another woman at work. She works part time as a bartender and has a noise ring = guaranteed sex, good chance of anal.

Epilogue

I’m praying to get some sleep at work tonight, so that I can go to the library to study all day tomorrow. I’ve been having ridiculous amounts of gas lately. I’ve never farted this much in my entire life as far as I can remember. It might just be because my diet is complete and utter shit and I need to start eating things that are green again, or it might just be the stress from the impending exam. Ah well, see you fucker after the bump.

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I got laid last night, and the Habs are in first place

March 24, 2008

So I was fucking exhausted all of day from fucking all of last night. I’ve got virtually no skills when it comes to pleasing a woman, so in a moment of inspiration I decided we should try to fuck in the shower. Suffice it to say, that did not go smoothly. It seemed like a really good idea at the time, but the angles and stuff just did not work out.

I don’t think I even got any credit for trying, although the blowjob afterwards was quite exquisite. If anyone has any suggestions on how to maxmize shower sex enjoyment I’m listening.

The Habs

The habs beat the pathetic Bruins again for their 11th straight victory over the B’s. I and every other Habs fan on the planet is praying that we get to play them in the first round.

The Habs were ok with Komisarek, at least for one night. Kostopoulos was sporting a nice shiner from his fight the other night, and Michael Ryder threw the hit of the night.Bouilon continues to bring nothing to the table, (it’s not that he’s bad, but his insistence on skating with the puck instead of head-manning it or making an outlet pass kills the forwards chance of creating scoring chance every time. Combine that with the fact that he doesn’t seem to understand that in order for a pass to actually work, your teammate has to be aware that you’re actually passing them the puck, and his inability to clear anyone out in front of the net, and you have a pretty ineffective D-man.

Price, who i’m trying very hard to love, was making me nervous all night. He made some great saves. He’s going to be a good goalie in this league for years to come. What bother me is that he has the potential to be a GREAT goalie, if he were to just stop making some very simple mistake.

The wraparound goal by Savard was a clear example of this. He went down too early and then instead of just sliding over to cover the far side, he tried to stand up before sliding over. Result = goal!

Like I said, he’s only 20 years old, he’s going to be good, he clearly has insane amounts of talent, but I still think that at this moment Halak is further along in his development.

Epilogue

Its been a pretty quiet weekend. I’ve been busy with work/school stuff, so not much to bitch about at the moment. I’m sure something inane will happen shortly that will drive me crazy though.

Killing through Kindness

March 21, 2008

THIS POST WAS WRITTEN SEVERAL DAYS AGO, BUT I FORGOT TO PUBLISH IT

Kindness

So as shitty as my life has been, I’d actually been feeling a little better over the last few days. I’ve actually been getting some hits on the blog site and feeling pretty good about that. (Although I suspect that most of those page views were accidental. Probably just people looking for stuff about the Raptors. As a result I will tagging every post the word “Raptors”).

Things were proceeding mostly according to plan with Fracturegirl and Cuckold girl. I had managed to do some actual studying instead of just pretending to study.

Then this morning everything went to shit again. Fantasy girl MSN’ed me out of the fucking blue. I’ve been deftly avoiding (aka hiding like a little girl) her since I found out she was fucking someone…that isn’t me.

She invites me over to her parent’s place for dinner next month. I politely decline, and then she starts talking about how she hasn’t seen me in such a long time and how we should go get sushi, and study together.

Yeah, let me tell how much that appeals to me. Listen I appreciate that she’s just trying to be nice, but she’s painfully oblivious to how infatuated I am with her and crushed I was when I found out she was seeing someone else. I’ve got the dent marks in my door to prove it.

Why the fuck would I want to spend an entire night with her and her perfect family, listening to them talk about fucking awesome her new boyfriend is? Honestly, can someone explain to me what the fuck she’s thinking? She’s not the type of person to throw shit like this in someone’s face. Can she honestly be this clueless? I mean she was clueless (or at least claims she was) about the fact that I was crushing on her. She was seemingly clueless about how devastated I was when she rejected me. Maybe she’s still clueless about how fucked I’ve been over the last few months because of her boyfriend.

This is a person that I would literally speak to everyday, hang out with several times a week, and that all has changed to the point where I have not spoken to her face to face in about 2 months, and while I don’t ignore I’ve limited my sentences to about 4 words each. How can she not tell that things are not healthy between us and that I have no interest in trying to be friends with her? Are women really that fucking stupid?

Here’s a list of things I would rather do than have to be subjected to sitting down to dinner with her family and her boyfriend and having to listen about how awesome their lives are for the entire night.

1. Pass a porcupine through my dick hole
2. Perform Neurosurgery…on myself
3. Root for the Leafs to win the cup
4. Admit the Tom Cruise is not gay
5. Be gangraped by the Cincinatti Bengals
6. Watch my parents having sex
7. Watch your parents having sex
8. Pour boiling hot honey all over my body, and then walk into beehive
9. Have one of my testicles put into a vice-grip, clamp the fucker and then have it served back to me as a delicious soup
10. You gethe point

I’d actually managed to stay weed-free for a couple of days, which considering how I’ve degenerated into a high-functioning drug addict over the last year is quite the accomplishment. The second she sent me those MSN messages, I felt like I had regressed to where I was a month ago. I’m right back to having obsessive thoughts, and not being able to concentrate, being unable to study, having to masturbate non-stop, and overall just feeling really shitty.

I really want to go smoke some weed, but I think that would just end up putting me back into that vicious cycle. So tomorrow when I get home, I’m going to take off for the library and try my best not to get high. Otherwise this shit is just going to keep repeating itself, I’ll end up as a drug-adled retard, and she’ll still be fucking someone…that isn’t me.

The Habs

The habs didn’t look very interested in the game saturday night. They were sloppy with the puck, and not making smart plays. In fairness they were playing an AHL team, so I can’t really blame them for coasting. The problem is if they try that type of shit against an NHL team, they are fucked. Fucked in the ass like Tom Cruise at a Scientology meeting. The playoff race is so tight right now , that the Habs could easily fall to 5th place. So taking a night off at this point in the season could cost them the home ice advantage, and with grand total of 7 months experience between the pipes leading them into the playoffs, the Habs are going to need all the help they can get.

Meanwhile multiple blogs are reporting that the Leafs and Habs had a tentative deal to send Sundin to Montreal for Chris Higgins, and the Habs first, second AND third round picks. That’s even more insane than the deal they were talking about TV this weekend!!!! There’s no way in fucking hell that Bob Gainey would give up Higgins and THREE draft picks for a month a half of Sundin. Never mind the fact that you’d potentially be setting up a Leafs dynasty for the next decade, who the fuck would even trade Higgins for Sundin – at this point in their careers – straight up?

That’s just beyond crazy. If that had happened I would have personally run Gainey’s traitorous ass down the 401 while screaming like John Goodman in the Big Lebowski “Do you see what happened to Pat Burns? Do you? Do you see what happens when you fuck the Montreal Canadiens in the ass?! Motherfucker!”

I’m choosing to believe that these retarded rumours are being started by the Leafs blowjob giving media horde, and that Monsieur Gainey is far too sharp to have ever made that trade.

I’m still upset about this. Godamnit that’s stupid.

The Next Great Depression

Oh yeah baby. I’m poor again. The depression is coming. Can u smeeeeeeeeell what the Bush is cooking?~

Today, I am a Coward

March 21, 2008

Coward

Yeah, so I’m not proud of it, but today was a solid day of infamy, a shining example of my cowardice and patheticness. I left my apartment for work this morning a little bit later than I normaly do. I had a bad feeling about this, because it moved me dangerously close to the time that fantasy girl leaves for work.

For the last 2 months I’ve been dreading it every time the elevator door opens. I keep picturing the doors opening, and fantasy girl standing there. It’s fucking horrible. I’ve even avoided going to they gym at times when i know she’s likely to be there.

This morning wasn’t quite that bad. Disaster was averted, but only because of the combination of me being a fucking nancy boy and a little bit of luck. As I was headed to the subway, I stopped in to get a Starbucks. When I started walking towards the subway, fantasy girl was walking about 15 feet ahead of me. I recognized her from the back of her head.

It was a bit of fucked up situation, cuz I didn’t want to be late for work but I also didn’t want to talk to her. As it turns out it was a good thing, I avoided her, cuz the train we both ended up on, ended up being delayed for like 30 minutes. Which would have meant me standing there listening for 30 minutes describing in detail how her stupid fucking perfect boyfriend delivers perfect cunilingus to her , followed by breakfast in bed, after he poops a shiny diamond out of his ass every morning.

So basically, I just ended up hiding behind her, following her down to the subway and not letting her see me. Then waiting for the train, I made a mad dash for the door and headed away from her.

I felt kinda shitty.

Then today I got home and looked at her facebook page (at least I haven’t looked at it in awhile), and saw that she had a post on her wall from some dude. I don’t know who the dude is, but I’m pretty sure she’s sucking his penis, and laughing at me the whole time.

Then at work this morning, one of my supervisors comes over and says “I hear you had a little breakdown a few weeks ago, over some chick that’s banging another dude, and you still think she’s going to fuck you”

Well except for the part where I think she’s going to fuck me, yeah, that’s pretty accurate. I mean for god’s sake, I STARTED A BLOG, and I saw a psychiatrist. I fucking hate psychiatrists.

Speaking of which, I saw the shrink again on wednesday. I felt like shit after I saw her the first time, but overall my mood had improved slightly, and since fantasy girl had just messaged me on MSN the previous day, I had some shit I wanted to get off my chest.

Instead, the session was comepletely useless. She fucked up her bookings, so I was only in there for like 20 minutes. Most of which she sent trying to convince me to go see a psychologist, ( I hate fucking psychologists even more than psychiatrists) and the rest of it lecturing me on how marijuana is bad for me.

I’d been feeling much better most of the week, partly due to the blogging I think. At the moment however, I really want some weed. I’m not going to buy any tonight though. The exam is closing in. I need to study. So i’m compromising. Instead of studying, or getting high, i’m sitting on my couch watching the Habs, Lost and March Madness. I think there’s a good basketball game on tonight as well.

The Habs

So the Habs have been mailing it in of late. Just some over all lacklustre efforts all around. Plus it doesn’t help having Brisebois in the lineup. That’s equivalent to ceding a 1 goal lead to the other team. I swear to god, you’d be better off putting a retarded monkey on skates, dressing him in Brisebois’ jersey.

TSN is pumping up how the Habs have p0wned the Bruins thus far this season. As usual the play by play team is openly rooting against the habs. Fuck those TSN assholes. At least they don’t suck as hard as the CBC.

I was getting all paranoid the other day thinking about this blog. It’s starting to generate some hits. I don’t know if people are actually reading this shit or just clicking by accident. It occured to me though, that a large number of my friends share similar interests, and that some of them may eventually find their way to this blog. Which would mean that fantasy girl, cuckold girl, fracture girl and all the people I’ve disparaged could potentially figure out who I am, even though I’ve tried not to give away any identifying details. I don’t know, I may have to start a seperate blog just for bitching about fantasy girl. I kind of like the idea of being encapsulated in a single site however, and its a bit of a pain in the ass to keep separate blogs.

The TSN halftime show is talking about no-touch icing again. What a punch of fucking pussies. Honestly these are PROFFESSIONAL ATHLETES. Why can’t the NHL stop fucking with the rules. THE RULES ARE NOT THE PROBLEM WITH THE NHL. Stop fucking with the rules. Let these guys play. They get paid millions of dollars per year, they can take care of themselves. Let em play, let em skate, let em hit. Injuries happen. Deal with it, get over it. Players can always be replaced, its the nature of the game. Those boarding injuries are almost always at least partially the part the fault of the defensemen. I’m tired of hearing about this. If this was a leafs game on TV, I can guarantee that they wouldn’t have spent the last 10 minutes talking about stupid boarding injuries, they would have spent 5 minutes sucking Sundin’s dick and another five deciding who gets to share his cum. Fucktards.

Random Shit

Brooke Burns retarded old gameshow is on TV right now. This show was cancelled years ago. But Brooke is so hot that this show will live on forever

Brooke Burns

Brooke Burns

The funny thing about this show, was the Brooke is so tall, she would always tower over all the male competitors and make it look none of those guys could ever handle her in bed. Hey Brooke baby, c’mere, I’ll handle you.

I like how at the end of that clip, Brooke subtly brushes the topless chicks hair out of her face. Heh-heh, never would have guessed her for rug-muncher, but can’t say i’m going to complain.

Epilogue

Just because I looked at it yesterday…

ALIZEE

Pet Peeve of the day

March 16, 2008

Smoking Britney

I haven’t posted a blog entry in a few days. To be honest, I was a little surprised, my last few blog entries actually got a few hits, which means that someone is actually reading this thing. Which is fucking scary. I mean there’s some personal shit on this page. I started blogging because I was feeling depressed (unless you ask the psychiatrist, in which case I was anxious, wtf?) but I had been feeling better the last few days which I guess is why I wasn’t able to maintain my usual level of vitriole and hatred to post something the last few days.

Well yesterday, I ran out of weed. So now I’m sober.

Turns out sobriety is…um….boring.

No, really. There are really very few benefits to not being high. Now granted my marijuana usage has been a little out of control for the last little while, and my inability to study is probably related to that fact, (although I prefer to blame the fact that Fantasygirl is sucking another guy’s cock), but goddamnit shit is boring when you’re sober. Video games are less interesting, movies are less appealing, jerking off is less exciting… I don’t know. If I didn’t have to study, I’d probably reconsider trying to abstain from drugs for the next few weeks. I don’t know if I’ll actually be succesful, cuz apparently I do have a drug problem, but who the fuck knows.

My pet peeve of the day is pretty simple actually. Why is that when the person at the cash gives you their change, they can’t simply place it on the counter or drop it into my hand? Why do they feel obligated to get their grimy disgusting hands, and by extension the hands of every other customer they’ve touched today, all over my hands.

Put the fucking change on the counter. I’ll pick it up. Drop it in my hand. That’s why God invented gravity motherfucker. Instead you put the bill on my hand and then the change on top of the bill. So now I can’t drop the bill in my wallet without dropping my change all over the floor (because my other hand is holding my bag or coffee or whatever), and I can’t put the change in my wallet, because I can’t use my thumb without letting go of the bill. This is why i no longer feel bad about using my credit card to buy things that are under $10. My policy now is to use my credit card for absolutely everything. I bought a bagel with my credit card last week. Didn’t even feel bad about it.

The Chick Situation

Victoria Beckham

So this morning I walk over to Starbucks to get a cup of coffee as part of my continuing efforts to procrastinate and fail my exam. There’s this retardedly hot blonded sitting by the window with some douchebag. The blonde has one of these tight, tight bodies, with a pair of one of the most unnatural breasts I’ve ever seen. Her beautiful fake booboes were basically falling out of her shirt. The douchebag who is out on what is clearly their first “getting to know you date” is absolutely killing the conversation. I don’t know, maybe he was distracted by her cleavage or something, but dude seriously, focus! I wasn’t even talking to the chick and all I was thinking about was leaving a giant jizz bomb on her chest. You need to keep your head in the game man. I was tempted to go over there and try to pick her up (which actually would have helped him, since they at least would have had something to talk about instead of saying things like “i like my job” “i like cats” “my cat’s breath smells like cat food”, but I felt kinda bad for the guy. Rest assured however, the next time I see that chick in starbucks I will be spilling my soy-milk-no whip-grande mocha all over her shirt. mmmmm….wet boobies…sigh.

Ralph Wiggum - nose picking

Does anyone know how to pick up the Barista at starbucks? There’s 2 really cute Barista’s at my starbucks. I’m not picky, i’d fuck either. Both. Whatever. I have absolutely no idea how to do this. It would require some time of line stoppage. I think the last thing she would want is to be hit on by losers during her break.

I think this plan requires an elaborate distraction. Maybe something involving a dancing monkey and some drunk midgets.

Details are still sketchy but I think Operation Bang a Barista -v.2008 is in the initial planning stages.

Still no contact with Fantasygirl. She’s online at the moment, I can see she’s logged into MSN, but she’s clearly ignoring me, or she can’t typed at the moment, because she’s giving her new boyfriend a reacharound. Two of her friends have sent me messages on facebook in the last few days. I briefly considered ignoring the messages, but ultimately I decided that would be immature and childish. Even though immature and childish are my forte(s) (what the fuck is the plural of forte?), I decided to answer back. I think I could fuck both of the chicks that sent me messages. I haven’t fucked any of Fantasygirl’s friends because I just assumed that I ever went after one of her friends, I would never get her, but now….wtf? There’s nothing to lose. Next time I’m drunk I’m going to try and bang her friends. In fact I think the challenge will be to fuck em both as close in time in possible, and keep trying to fuck them closer and closer together. Like I would fuck one in the morning, and one after dinner, and then the a few days later I could fuck one before lunch and then one afterwards. Additional levels of difficulty could be added by telling each one that I was or was planning on fucking the other chick. Maybe I could even yell out Fantasy girl’s name while I was fucking them. That’d be awesome.

Cuckold girl sent me another invitation to her birthday party. She broke up with her boyfriend, but they’re still living together. There’s no way in hell I’m going to a party full of people that are friends with her ex, and be like “hey, i’m the dude that she’s been cheating with for the last 9 months”. I’m sure that’ll go over well. Anyways, Cuckold girl wants to watch a movie tomorrow afternoon. I can count the number of times we’ve done something that didn’t end in sex. That would be one time. I think we did something one time that didn’t end up in sex. I’m pretty sure my penis or her vagina was broken at the time.

Fracture girl, is working tonight, and we’re supposed to get together tomorrow once she’s done. Which could be awkward. I have nothing to entertain her with, cuz I don’t do anything but study and work these days, and there won’t be any alcohol, and she’ll be tired and cranky…so yeah wtf was I thinking insisting we get together.

The Habs

Believe it or not, I’m watching the Habs on CBC right now. Granted their on channel 125 or something, the guy doing the play-by-play has cerebral palsy, the colour is all fucked up, there’s no HD, and they’re playing the islanders, but I don’t give a fuck, cuz I least I get to watch the Habs.

The amazing thing. This is the first time I’ve seen the Habs on CBC in at least 15 years and have yet to hear the announcers openly rooting against the Habs. Usually those racist fucks do everything they can to pump up the audience for the Habs opponents. I’m not worried though. I’m sure we’re a few minutes away from another 30 minute conversation about Mats Sundin’s plans to star in gay porn during the off-season and how that will affect the perception of the hallowed leafs (seems about right to me btw)

On Sportscenter or sportsnet connected this week, the show actually had the following sequence of pieces to their broadcast.

1. Summary of Leafs Game
2. Coaches Post-game press conference
3. Post-game analysis discussion
4. Recap of Leafs Game
5. Another analysis section
6. 5 minute “What if?” if piece discussing the possible trades the Leafs might have made on trade day (These weren’t even trades happened or are going to happen, they were trades that might have happened!!!! I swear Leafs fans are retarded)
7. Recap of all the other games in the NHL

The funniest part though was that the stupid talking heads said that the Habs and leafs had a deal where Sundin was going to be traded for Chris Higgins, a first round draft pick and another player (i think they thought it was Grabs or another pretty decent young guy). Yeah, i’m sure Gainey was willing to make that awful fucking trade.

Before it was over they had Sundin, Kaberle and Tucker traded for like 5 players and 8 draft picks including Steve Stamkos. Further proof that there is nothing dumber than a leafs fan.

…The CBC is having there hot stove league starring Ron Maclean, Deep Throat and the Al Strachan aka Canada’s number one user of adult diapers. I guess they couldn’t afford another person to complete the panel. They’re talking about more rule changes. I swear the NHL is run by nincompoops. LEAVE THE GAME ALONE!!!! The problem is not the game. The problem is the people running the game. THE PROBLEM IS NOT THAT MARTIN BRODEUR CAN PLAY THE PUCK IN THE CORNER! THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE LEAGUE DOES NOT HAVE A TELEVISION CONTRACT!!!

I think I need to actively campaign to to become commissioner of this league, because clearly I’m the only person paying attention.

The Habs are up 1-0 right now. Either they explode in the 3rd for a couple of goals, or the isles tie it up and it goes to overtime. Have I mentioned that I hate the overtime loss rule yet? I hate the overtime loss yet. I think i need to devote a post to how stupid that rule is.

Also I realize they’re playing the islanders, but Halak is looking pretty solid.

Things I’m planning on buying

Since we apparently have some readers now, or at least people that clicked on the page accidentally. I need to buy a new external hard drive, since my old one died and I lost all my porn. I’m not kidding. ALL MY PRON! I had an extensive collection include some very nice amateur and rare stuff. I’m not kidding myself it’s only a matter of time until I fill up another hard drive. So in anticipation of that, does anyone have any recomendation for external drives that are less likely to fail?

Epilogue

I think that’s all for today. I was looking at some NBA stats yesterday, and I think Jose Calderon the Raptors point guard might be the most underrated player in the NBA

Wow, Kovalev just scored a beauty.

Sorry, so I’m thinking I might need to dedicate a post to that, but it would require some actual research on my behalf.

Also, could Lost have sucked any harder this week? No, it could not.

The Wire. Case Closed.

March 9, 2008

French Frog

Have a smoke and a drink a toke in memoriam of the best TV show there ever was; The Wire.

It all comes to an end tonight. The screener has apparently been out for a couple of days already, but even though I’ve been fanatical in my obsession about the wire, that piece of crucial information somehow managed to slip by me. It’s really kinda crazy that the best show on television is coming to an end, and nobody seems to notice. Although I guess that show has been so thoroughly ignored by the media throughout its run, that it is somehow appropriate that the show goes out without the usual media reach-around and hoopla that accompanied the end of other quality TV shows. Why a turd mcmuffin retard show like Family Guy gets prime real estate and advertising, while a show that is incredibly intelligent and provides critical social commentary (like the Wire) gets buried…well let’s just say if you’ve been watching the Wire you probably know that why things succeed has a lot more to do with politics and economics than about quality.

I guess there’s no room on the tube for intelligent, well-written shit on TV. Thank god for blogs, eh?

Couple of predictions for the end.

Mcnulty: Gonna get char-broiled. His behaviour over the first 3 seasons became proggressively more erratic and self-destructive. He burned more bridges, pissed off more people, fucked up his relationships more, and was drinking more. He managed to clean up his act slightly once Stringer got got, but unfortunately he’s just gone completely off the deep end this season. All you have to do is look at Bunk and Kima’s reaction to what he’s been doing all season. His tenuous grasp on reality has been severed. The fact that he has been fucking with crime scenes and inventing murders, clearly shows that he is no longer “good Po-Lice”. I think his career is over, and quite frankly there was speculation on some boards that he would suicide himself. I think that ending makes sense. If Mcnulty doesn’t have the police department then he doesn’t have anything. Like Freamon and Daniels have told him “The job won’t save you”.

The over all them to the season is always encapsulated in the first season of the first episode. This season the them was clearly “The bigger the lie, the more they believe”. Every character this season has trapped by their lies. Mcnulty and Freamon inventing a serial killer and a C.I. Templeton lying about…um…everything. The newspaper editors choosing to ignore obvious issues in the city to focus on the “dickensian” aspect. Chris Partlow hiding what Omar said from Marlo. Marlo lying to the co-op and to Prop Joe. Carcetti breaking his promise to Daniels, and breaking his promise to the public so that he can win the gubernatorial race. The only character I can think off that hasn’t been caught up in a lie so far this season is Bubbles.

Bubbles: It’s going to end poorly. We’ve seen Bubbles make recoveries before, albeit biefly, but this is the longest he’s ever been clean. The Wire is a novel, and foreshadowing is always present. That scene earlier this year, where Bubbles is walking down the street and the dope fiend recognized him. That scene was trying to show that the spectre of he needle always hangs over Bubbles shoulders. Bubbles is a dope fiend, he’ll die a dope fiend. There’s a small chance that Simon leaves Bubbles as the one character that finds redemption…but somehow I doubt it.

The Snitch: The source of teh the grand jury papers that were found on Prop Joe has yet to be revealed. Speculation is that Rhonda Pearlman is the leak, since she’s the one character on the show that has close ties to the court house. I think it’s very unlikely that she’s the leak. Pearlman has always been a straight character. She always follows chain of command, she’s never screwed anyone or shown any political ambition. She’s one of the most honest characters in the show, and for her to suddenly be exposed as leaking grand jury info to the street, would be a pretty big character inconsistency. Something Simon is exceedingly good at avoiding. Considering that almost every episode this year has had a cameo from a character from season’s past, I think a far more likely candidate is the Judge. The judge set up the wire tap in season one, is politically motivated and has shown no need to comply to ethical behaviour…and we haven’t seen him yet this season.

Freamon: Freamon is Mcnulty, only smarter. Both are obsessive, both consider themselves to be the smartest people in the room. Both decide to “fuck the bosses” when THEIR case was threatened. Lester ended up in the pawn shop, Mcnulty on the boat. Which is why Freamon was ok with Mcnulty creating the serial killer. They both have no problem bending the rules when it suits them, and justifying their behaviour afterwards. Freamon never touched a homeless body, and it’s unlikely Mcnulty will sell him out. The only place he can get fucked up is on the illegal wire, the fake C.I. and using Mcnulty’s CC numbers for his surveillance unit. He’ll probably get chewed out and sent back to the pawn shop once Major Crimes is shut down.

Herc: Still gonna be working Levy, driving a Benz, and hitting on Dozerman’s girl. Western district way!!!

Carver: My vote for the one character that makes it out unscathed. The change we’ve seen in Carver over the 5 seasons has been the most uplifting of any character on the show. From a knucklehead that forgets that suspects might be carrying an extra gun all the way to organizing and trying to save Hamsterdam, and to finally realizing the busting heads on the corner is not a solution. The scene in season 4 where Carver decides he doesn’t need to chase the car thiefs, because he already knows their names is one of my favorite. Carver will probably be promoted, he’s likely to turn into Bunny. A career cop who gets promoted because of the recognition that he is good police, but without any political connections to climb further up the ladder.

Kima: Probably not much. Bunk, Freamon or Mcnulty might chew her out for turning rat. Ultimately though even if you disagree with what she did, Kima would still feel justified. She might quit homicide though to be with the kid.

Daniels: He’s fucked. The info that Burrell passed to Nerese is ticking time bomb. That combined with the fact that his department just bankrupted the city looking for a non-existent serial killer. Carcetti is going to dump him faster than hot potato.

Rawls: Carcetti hates him. He’ll probably be an bystander of the politicians.

Carcetti: If there’s one thing the Wire preaches it’s that the system promotes failure. Carcetti has failed at every single one of his election promises. He killed Hamsterdam which would have solved the crime/drug problem. He killed the education initiative which would have cleaned up the corners. He killed major crimes which could have been on Marlo and the Co-op. Carcetti will win for governor on his <ahem> “record, kill the incumbent on the homeless issue and he’ll do it with the support of the Baltimore sun.

Clay Davis: The game is the game. Davis will keep on being a smooth talking con artist. He gets off Scott-fre.

Templeton: He’ll also get off free. He’ll win the pulitzer, and because he follows chain of command he’ll likely get off without repercussion as the editorial board will likely support him

Gus Haynes: His time at the paper is over. Perhaps he’ll go on to write a novel or a TV show. Who knows? 🙂

Marlo: Levy will get him out, maybe. Drug dealers don’t last very long in the wire. Every character we’ve seen on the street has short life span compared to non-street characters. This is just a reflection of society. If you play with drugs and guns, there’s a pretty good chance you’re going to end up dead or in jail (Stringer, Avon, Omar, Snoop, Prop Joe, Weebay, stinkum, Deangelo, Bodie…sorry I’m still upset over Bodie). The list of dead thugs on the show is pretty extensive.If you decide to leave the life you’ve got a pretty good chance of getting out alive (Cutty, Namond). Since it’s pretty unlikely that Marlo is willing to go quietly…

1) Levy gets him out. He goes after Michael.

2) Partlow kills Marlo

3) Freamon lies about the C.I. They claim that the piece of paper that Bunk found in Omar’s hand proves that he was the C.I., had inside info on the functioning of Marlo’s organization and gave them the tip about the clocks. Marlo goes to jail. (which would be cool because we could create spinoff of show of Avon and Marlo in jail 😉

Partlow: Either gonna kill Marlo or going to jail, or going after Michael for killing snoop.

Duquan: The new bubbles. He has no connections to anyone in the city anymore. The preview for the ep shows Prezbo making a cameo. In all likelihood though, Dookie ends up on the street with a new heroin addiction. They’ve been hinting at it all season.

Michael: No idea how this is going to end for him. He’s been the most unpredictable character on the show. He seemed clearly headed towards being a thug, then discovered he didn’t have the heart for it, but he still managed to kill Snoop. When it comes down to it, Michael will do whatever he has to to protect himself. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him take out Marlo.

The Greek: Business, always business.

THE HABS

So the habs beat up on the Steve Samkos’ future team. Somebody please explain to me HOW THE FUCK PATRICE BRISEBOIS IS ALLOWED ON THE ICE!!! I don’t care if he scored a goal. He’s one of the worst hockey players I’ve seen in my entire life. He’s a lazy fuck. He makes the players around him worse. He takes no personal responsibility on the ice, he can’t play defense and he can’t shoot. He’s a bad influence in the locker room, and I don’t want him around any of the young habs. He has no problem losing, and that’s not an attitude I want to see out of this team. I want Carey Price to imbued with the Spirit of St. Patrick. I want him to take every goal he lets in personally. I want him to make Sidney Crosby his bitch.

Please for the love of god, will someone please take the Breezer out.

How bad were the Habs in the 90’s? Patrice “Breeze-by” Brisebois and Andre “Red-light” Racicot were on the same team. I’m not even making up those nicknames. Those are their actual nicknames.

I love Bob Gainey. He makes excellent moves, refuses to cave into giving up to much to players and other GM’s, but he also does weird inexplicable things. Like trading Huet for what will be a worthless second round pick, trading Rivet for a worthless pick, or signing Brisebois. Sometimes I get the feeling the Gainey is being a nice guy and just throws out a favour to friends every once in awhile. I was pretty sure that Brisebois signing with this team during the summer was a sign of the apocalypse. The Breezer manged to fuck up the first quarter of the season before Carbo had enough sense to sit his malignant fucking ass on the bench.

The Chick Situation

Still no contact with dreamgirl. I was feeling moderately better about the whole thing until last night, when I was home studying and I’m pretty sure she was sucking some guys’ cock. How does one become a stalker? Is that something that turns out well? Where does one obtain information on how to stalk effectively? Shouldn’t there be a FAQ or something? The amount of will-power I have to dedicate to not checking her MSN online status or Facebook updates is just ridiculous. I think at this point I’ve exerted way more energy trying to avoid her than I would have had I just been stalking her like a normal rejected loser.

On the plus side I got messages from 2 different girls that I had hooked up with earlier this year. Both of which I never managed to seal the deal with, and didn’t have the energy to chase (dreamgirl’s got me so fucked up that not only am I not getting to fuck her, she stops me from wanting to fuck other chicks. How fucked up is that?

Anyways, girl #1 aka UnitGirl, sent me a text message on fri when she found out that I was in the building where she works. Unfortunately I was in a class, and couldn’t make it out to see her. Even more unfortunate, I don’t think I’ve got enough time at the moment to chase her down.

Girl #2 aka Fashionista, sent me a message out of the blue to see what was up. I think she thinks I might have been playing hard to get, so she’s become interested again, or lonely. Who the fuck knows. I think the second I move to ask her out on a date, she’ll bolt. So I might just suggest coffee or breakfast…something benign and non-threatening.

This of course is complicated by by the imminent return of girl #3 aka FractureGirl from parts unkown today. One date into it so far. She’s got a smoking body, but we haven’t broached the subject of age yet. I’m waiting to see her naked before I bring that up. Once she finds out about the age discrepancy…this should pretty much be over.

Which brings us to girl #4, aka CuckoldGirl. She finally broke up with the boyfriend. I get the feeling that she expects me to ask her out and for us to start dating. I’m not really sure what to do with that?

On that note I guess I should probably get back to work. Fuck you!@!

TWO-A-DAY

March 3, 2008

No, that’s not the number of times I jerked off today (yet). That’s my second post of the day. Why? Fuck you, that’s why.

I thought the blogging would make me feel a bit better. Nope. I still feel like Dreamgirl ripped my hear out, threw it to the ground, kicked me in the balls and laughed in my face about how she would never date someone like me.

Mola-Ram

Let’s be fair though. Even though she’s ridiculously hot, has an ass you could bounce a quarter of off and perfect blowjob lips, she’s probably terrible in bed. I’m pretty sure she’s the type of woman that lies there in bed like a fish getting fucked, checking her watch every couple of minutes to see if it’d done yet. I mean i’ve never met anyone so disinterested in sex…or maybe it was just sex with me. Well there’s a happy thought.

The scary thing about all this to me is that I’ve been avoiding dreamgirl for the last few weeks. I couldn’t cope with the rejection anymore. But she kept acting like everything was cool, and we were still friends (even though I’ve been a moody, depressed unpleasant fuck since she shot me down. So she keeps sending me this little invitations to come have sushi with her, or study together or some other bullshit that will not result in her taking her clothes off. The thing that really scares me though, is once she clues in, and those invitations stop coming.

That’ll suck. At least now I’m a rejected loser, who she keeps around as a pity friend. When that happens I’ll just be a rejected loser.

On a completely unrelated note, I was waiting in line today to do some bullshit registration thing at work. This chick comes up to the counter to get registered while I was waiting. Anyways, I get a good look at her, but she doesn’t see me cuz i’m sitting behind her. For the love of God I cannot remember her name. We went out a couple of times, we fooled around, and then one of us pulled the vanishing act (I think i’m the guilty party there, but since I can’t remember I’m distributing the blame evenly. It’s only fair). A

So what to do? I fooled around with her a couple of times, but have absolutely no recollection of her name. Should I have gone over, said hello, seen what was up? I have no idea. In my current state of rejection however (fuck you dreamgirl), I just grabbed my ID and slinked away. Felt kinda cowardly, but I really didn’t want anything to do with her at this point, or for her to see how miserable I am.

THE HABS

I’ve got a bad feeling about this West Coast trip. The Habs are usually shit when they head south. The spend too much time trying to put their dicks to score, and not enough scoring on the ice. I think this is the make or break trip for my boys, but I’m expecting to see Price pulled from the middle of a game at least once on this trip.

The only hope I’m holding out is that somehow the team leaves for the trip without Brisebois. I’d love to rant about how much the Breezer sucks but I don’t have enough hatred in my heart right now for Dreamgirl and the Breezer.