If You Gotta Go…go with a smile :). The NBA, Batman, the holocaust and more. All for one low, low price!

I have absolutely no fucking idea where that picture of JACK! is from. Alls I know is, that thing is fucking scary. For some reason I find that pic more maniacal than the new shots of Heath Ledger’s Joker. Obviously after Dark Knight comes out (and rules the fucking earth!), its going to become cool to trash Jack’s Joker for Ledger’s benefit. Not so much because Ledger will be awesome (which he will be) or because he’s dead (celebrities are always cooler when they die. I’m looking at you Mr. Cobain!), but because the Dark Knight movie is going to be far superior to Burton’s Batman flick.

Basically the way this works is similar to the Lebron-Kobe discussion in the NBA. When you ask the question who is the best player in the NBA, the discussion inevitably boils down to those two guys. You can throw in your Duncans, Nowitzkis, Nashs (although not lately), Howards, Garnetts). Ultimately though, those are the two guys. Those are the two guys that can decide on any given night that they’re the best player on the court against any team, on any night, and singlehandedly win the game. They enter the Jordan zone and become untouchable. Athletes get in that zone where they just become possessed.

Pertinent Examples

1. Patrick Roy – 1993 Playoffs. Absolutely a force of nature. Once he decided that the puck would not go behind him…it would not go behind him.

2. Michael Jordan – Too Many Examples to Mention – Yeah he had some help from the referees (…on more than one occasion), but what do you expect from a league that models itself after Vince McMahon and the WWE. Yeah, I did just manage to combine Jordan and McMahon into a sentence. Why? Because I’m awesome that’s why! Oooh I did it again, I’m double awesome.

3. Tiger Woods – Golf. Golf is not really a sport. I don’t watch golf, because I assume that the only people that care about golf are people who are strapped to their wheelchairs against their wills and have their eyes propped open Clockwork Orange style. Golf is the laziest thing I can think of doing…except for watching other people play golf.

Clockwork Orange

In spite of that, I’m pretty sure that whatever it is Tiger keeps doing in front of the disabled, is basically impossible.

4. Roger Federer – What can I say, dude really knows how to play with his balls.

No I am not above a penis joke.

5. Tom Brady – 18-0 Patriot Season. Also have you seen what he’s banging? That’s just not normal.

The point being, in the NBA right now. There are 2 guys that can achieve that plateau. Kobe and Lebron. Both have the ability to dominate the game at either end of the court for the entire game. The difference is one plays for a team full of slow, broken, shitty, selfish, dumb, pukey-smelling coached by watermelon with scoliosis and “genui-ine” Leno chin and the other plays for the Lakers.

That’s what this next Batman move is going to do to the original. That’s how high my expectations are. Nolan is just a better director. He’s in the Jordan Zone (JZ…does anyone know how to make the little TM sign here?) Chris Nolan and Peter Jackson are the Kobe and Lebron of Hollywood. Don’t believe me? Well you can suck my cock. I’ve got high expectation for this movie.

Kinda like I had high expectations for dreamgirl. Who I’ve decided to rename. The name dreamgirl is too generic and too flattering. I need a name that somehow combines how unbelievably perfect she is, while subtly reminding people that she ripped my still beating heart out of my chest and stomped on it with her heels. You know, something sexy.

Anyways, still no contact with her today. I think by now she must have figured out that I know she’s dating someone. She’s probably decided that this is all my problem, and that when I decide I can be friends with her she’ll be ready to be my friend again. Well that’s exactly what is not going to happen. I am not going to allow myself to fall into the trap of being her friend again. That sucked ass. You spend all your time with a person who you can’t stop thinking about putting your dick into, and she can’t even look at you sexually. That was not healthy.

I feel like there’s a greater than %50 chance that she’s sucking her new boyfriend’s dick right now, just to pay me back for writing that whole sentence.

What I figured today is that basically I have to treat dreamgirl (fuck I need a new name for her), like the Jews treat Hitler after the Holocaust. There’s no retribution for holocaust survivors. Killing nazis at the end of WWII wouldn’t make it even for all the things the survivors were forced to endure, or their loved ones that were killed. The only revenge that the the Jews could have was to do the one things the Nazi’s didn’t want them to do…LIIIIIVE!!!!

Its not fair that she gets to fucking perfect AND be happy about sucking her new boyfriend’s cock, when I’m the one that got rejected, and now I’m miserable all the time. Well I can’t fix being rejected, because I suck and I’m a loser, but I can stop being miserable all the time. So my new resolution is to stop being miserable. Instead of acting the way I feel, (shitty and dejected, for those of you that were wondering), I’m going to act happy and lucky-go. I really am turning into the class clown, who makes all the other kids laugh, while he’s crying on the inside.

Anyways, my hands are getting arthritic-ish. So let me just finish by saying pointing out the west coast trip was going to be a disaster for the Habs, and how the fuck do you not pull Price in a game where he give up 6 goals?!?!?! Carbo, what happened? Were you distracted watching golf on the TV?

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