Another girl I won’t ever get the chance to sleep with.

Daisy de la Hoya

Not for nothing, but that chick is Oscar de la Hoya’s niece. So….the question if I told you that you could fuck this chick but first you had to last 3 rounds in the rings with De La Hoya, would you take it? Keep in mind he knows that you’re leaving the ring to go bang the hell out of his niece, so he’s not going to spare you. He’s taking you to the hole!

I’d do it, and I’m a giant pussy. My stategy would be pretty simple. After he hits me the first time, I go down…and I stay down. Then I go down on her. Why? Cuz she’s hot! That’s why!


There’s two important questions that need to be answered. First of all the greatest scenes in the history of the show. This is a toughie. There’s some obvious candidates. (Omar in court, Omar vs. Mouzzone, Omar and Mouzzone vs. Stringer, Omar vs Chris, Snoop and Michael WTF!!!) but to answer that question would require more time than I have at the moment.

A simpler question would be what order would you place the seasons from best to worst.

1. Season 4 – This season just kicked ass. Marlo taking over, Chris and Snoop’s trips to the vacants (not to mention Snoop almost killing someone for thinking they might be from NY). Prezbo as a teacher, the infamous “Fuck you Mr. Colvin!” scene, Omar’s trip to jail (I didn’t think there was anyway he was making it out of there alive). Oh yeah, and the boys, Namond, Michael, Dookie and Randy. The kids were just outstanding. If they had changed the actress for Namond’s mom (although to be fair, the whole point was that she was a narcissistic cunt), and give McNulty a little more love…it might just have been perfect.

Gratuitous Nudity: …

2. Season 3 – Hamsterdam, Bunny, Rawls ripping shit up at the Comstat meetings, tons of Omar! Avon going free, the end of B+B. Simon tried to set up the Wire as a visual novel. Season 3 is the climax.

Gratuitous Nudity: Terry D’agostino (holy crap what a body). Carcetti’s ugly naked white ass.

3. Season 1 – The original. First time we clearly see that the police department and the Barksdale organization have identical hierarchies. The emphasis on the amount of work needed to lay a wire case. Daniels calling out Carver as a snitch. Daniels blackmailing

Gratuitous Nudity: The lesbo scene, where Kima actually looks hot

4. Season 5 – Overall weaker than the 2 seasons that preceded it, but balanced out by some of the best scenes in the show’s run, plus a plethora of cameos (Nicky Sobotka, Prezbo, Namond, Bunny, Cutty, Randy, union guy, Royce, hooker chick that bought smokes in season 3….the list goes on). McNulty’s scene where he manipulates the crime scene is just inspired genius, as is Freamon’s reaction when Bunk tells him. The FBI profile of the serial killer might be the funniest scene in the show. Clay Davis grandstanding. Avon making Marlo his bitch. Marlo saying goodbye to Prop Joe. Omar waging guerilla warfare on the streets of B-more, and my personal favorite Omar’s ripping Chris, Cheese and Spider (or is it Monk) when he finds out that Omar has been talking trash about him.

Gratuitous Nudity: The blonde McNulty is fucking while he flashes his badge

5. Season 2 – Omar testifying against Bird is probably most people’s favorite scene. There are a ton of things that happen in season two that are incredibly important to subsequent seasons. Unfortunately the season gets crushed under the weight of the Dock storyline. Ziggy Sobotka doing his best Screech from Saved by Bell imitation was almost too annoying to stand. However Stringer pulling the trigger on Deangelo was the beginning of the end, and started the buildup to the confrontation between Avon and Stringer, which ultimately leads to the Mouzzone/Omar/Stringer showdown (which was un-be-fucking-lievable)

Gratuitous Nudity: Kristin Proctor’s breasts, McNulty’s menage-a-trois


So even though its clear I need to get over her, I need some way of replacing her…with someone hotter. Obviously since I can’t get Dreamgirl to fuck me, I won’t be able to fuck a hotter girl. Anyone know how I can get a girl hotter than the one that shot me down?


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