…and so it begins

It’s a rather ignominious start to my blogging career. But I figured since hatred seems to be the one unadulterated pure emotion I’m feeling these days that doesn’t result in me feeling depressed, suicidal, despondent or lonely, I’d use that as the over all modus thematicus of this blog.

To summarize

Fuck you bitch. Fuck you and your perfect hair. Your perfect tits. Fuck your perfect smile. Fuck the way you’re always happy. Fuck you and your perfect life. Fuck you and your new perfect boyfriend, and your perfect fucking future together. Fuck you and your career. Fuck you for being successful.

You get the new boyfriend, and to pass your exam, and the wonderful career and the free drinks and private rooms at clubs. You get life delivered to you on a silver platter. Fuck you. I hate that you never gave me a chance. I hate that I’m never going to the be one that you feel special about, fuck you for never giving me the chance to prove that I could be that person. Fuck you for keeping me in the friend zone. Yeah you were fantastic about not “leading me on”. Gee, I feel so much fucking better now. Thank god you didn’t lead me on.

Yeah, so you get to feel good about all this at the end of the day, and I’m a borderline psychotic, high-functioning drug addict who is going to fail his exam in a month, and not be able to graduate or work. How is that fair? You reject me, you get to be happy, have a perfect relationship, perfect life, perfect job, and I’m left here alone, miserable and with nothing to look forward to.

Well fuck you!

The HABS are in first place. The habs haven’t been in first place since 1989 if I remember correctly. I can’t even remember it all that well. I vaguely recall that we were duking it out with Calgary for #1 overall. ( I could be wrong, but I couldn’t find an easy online source to check this). I’ll gladly settle for 1st in the East, since there’s no way we’re catching Detroit.

The funny thing is that I don’t feel as excited about this 1st place Habs team as I did about any of the other Habs teams of the last 2 decades. Maybe it’s because deep down I know that this team isn’t as good as the standings indicate. There’s a reason why most of the experts picked the Habs to finish out of the playoffs.

The youngins (with the exception of Ryder) have all been playing way better than anyone expected. Mr Kovalev must have taken acid before the season started. It’s the only way to explain why he keeps flashing back to 2000-01. At this point Kovalev must be flashing back more often than Desmond from Lost. Then this Plekanec fellow decides that he’s going to channel the spirit of Wayne Gretzky, and suddenly even though Koivu is having a bad year, the Habs are an elite team.  Desmond Hume - aka Alexei Kovalev’s long lost brother, Brotha!@!

I can’t really explain it. Although one potential explanation may be the Ewing Theory.

Long time readers or ESPN’s Bill Simmons are already familiar with the theory. (Which you can read about over here, http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/print?id=1193711) But basically it can be summarized as follows:

  1. A star athlete receives an inordinate amount of media attention and fan interest, and yet his teams never win anything substantial with him (other than maybe some early-round playoff series).
  2. That same athlete leaves his team (either by injury, trade, graduation, free agency or retirement) — and both the media and fans immediately write off the team for the following season.

How does this apply to the Habs. Well, consider the free agent flight of Sheldon Souray. Now I have to admit that Souray is by no means in the same class as previous athletes that have proven the Ewing Theory time and time again. People like Ewing, Randy Johnson, A-rod, Tiki Barber, etc… All of these guys were elite athletes whose teams clearly did better once they left. I can’t explain this phenomenon, I don’t think Simmons can explain it. But it seems clear that there are certain star athletes who thrive on shitty teams, and when you remove the negative elements associated with that star, the rest of the team responds by improving their performance. This is a true example of why it’s always better to have a team in a team sport, rather than individual star in a team sport.

Well our good friend Sheldon, ran out on les habitants. He was widely regarded as the reason why the power play was so effective. It was presumed that once he left that power play would turn to shit, and the team that couldn’t score at even-strength would be doomed to the golf course come May. Instead, the habs are the 2nd highest scoring team in the NHL and have the #1 power-play.

I guess sometimes in life, you can never tell which way things are going to turn out.

I still hate you fantasy girl, you and your perfect fucking life. I hope it all comes crashing down. You get fat, have lots of cellulite, lose your looks and have to spend the rest of your life giving handjobs on the street for crack. Yeah I’m doing fine, fuck you!@!


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